Rejection on online dating sites
What makes rejection even more painful is that any effort to understand what went wrong can easily lead to bouts of self-criticism and self-blaming.
Did they reject you because you’re not tall enough, smart enough, attractive enough, rich enough, educated enough, or hip enough? Then you start to second guess everything you did and said.
When you think about it, people online aren’t really rejecting you because they don’t even know you yet. Reframing Rejection from People You Haven’t Met Yet So my biggest piece of online dating advice is to reframe the word “rejection” as it relates to the people you haven’t met yet.
Fortunately, there are three steps you can take to ease the emotional pain you’re bound to feel after being rejected: Argue with self-criticism.
In the dating process it’s unlikely that the person rejecting you will have begun to really get to know you. Handling rejection and overcoming it will be helped greatly if you can maintain a positive attitude.
They are more likely to be responding to something in their own life than anything you have said or done. This will help prevent you from feeling sorry for yourself or from getting being scared off the dating process altogether.
You must be, otherwise you wouldn’t hurt so much, right? Here’s why: Recent studies placed people in f MRI machines (scanners that look at what happens in our brains when we’re thinking or doing something) and asked them to think about a painful and recent rejection. The same pathways in the brain became activated when people experienced a rejection as when they experienced physical pain.
In fact, the overlap was so substantial, that when researchers gave people the pain reliever Acetaminophen (Tylenol) and put them through a rejection experience, they reported feeling significantly less emotional pain than those who did not receive Tylenol.