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She said, “You reinforce the myth that the reason men don’t commit is that the women in their lives do something wrong. In most cases, it’s the man in a relationship who decides he isn’t ready or doesn’t want to get married, and he makes this decision without any help from the woman." After telling Beth that more than three hundred women had worked with me on the marriage research and not one had made the comment she just offered, I apologized. My interviews with single men had shown there were men who would not commit.Beth was also right when she said that if I could help women identify which men were more likely to commit, I would be performing a real service.
Like "playing the triangle in a Mississippi-by-way-of-Brooklyn jug band," or "Kickstarting a docudrama series he plans to direct, produce, write and star in" or "enjoying a long and fulfilling career that is also his passion and will never require him to do anything he doesn't want to do." Oh, dear. His lack of direction inevitably leads you to start sounding like his parents — sometimes at inappropriate moments, like when your top is off. He still wants to have intellectual discussions with you over dinner because he misses the ones he had in college. They are valid explanations, even if you disagree with it, as I do. Certainly it's possible she's either afraid of commitment, or simply wants a brief affair. He's trying some new passion project every week and you have to be supportive of every single one. You have conversations with female acquaintences whose husbands are lawyers or doctors or entrepreneurs who are like "So what does he do? Hahahhaha do you know where the ladies' room is, great, thanks."5. And you wind up not being able to take that trip to Puerto Vallarta because he racked up way too many bar tabs last month.6. I know he has the energy of a crackhead on a log flume, but nightlife is for youngs.2.
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(Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman; he married her shortly after his divorce.) The way I see it, pursuing a relationship with an unavailable person with whom you're in love with, is not advantageous, nor is it worth the investment. There are no benefits to weigh, nor strategic advantage to be sought.